Jeez, I'm falling to the old trap of letting this page gather cobwebs. You know how it is -- buncha little things that don't really seem newsworthy enough to post, then before ya know it, yer six months behind and ya have no idea how to address the matter of the bass player's death, the recording contract that came & went, and the unbilled cameo in the Denny Laine bio. Well, nothing that horrible's transpired since May, at least. Dennie just got married, and the two Mondellos got to play a duel reunion gig with their former bands the night before (the Harmonious Fists kicked the Dels' asses, incidentally -- it was kinda like Screech mopping the floor with Horshack in Celebrity Boxing). And the Mondellos finally, at long last broke the Orlando Curse & successfully played a bill within Artie's area code. The first profitable gig in Mondellos history!

Outside o' that, let's just pretend I've been on top of alla this all along.

In other nooz, we've finally gotten some pix posted from the aforementioned Mondellos Mystery Tour to Memphis on our PIX page (http://themondellos.com/pix.html for you text titans).  Our shootout at Murphy's in Memphis (sooper-huge thanx to Benny, Lisa & Tav for makin' this all possible!) was a hoot -- swingin' spectatorship, spectacular staff, and bodacious brewmanship add up to Mondello magic!  Sending the coolness quotient into the sixth dimension was the surprise cameo by Mssr. Tom Walls of the Creepy T's, beltin' out a roaring rendition of "Clam Digger" worthy of the great King Coleman hisself!  Memphis, we love ye -- I'd live there if I could...  For yer discomfort, we have posted some video action of the Mondellos at Murphy's on our VIDS page (http://themondellos.com/vids.html), a fairly concise rendition of "Time Machine" at that... 

 

Our appearance at Murphy's proved even more miraculous considering the onslought that befell Milledgeville, GA the evening before.  To briefly recap, the original plan had involved a gig at Lenny's in Atlanta with the Black Lips and thee Crucials.  As typically befalls the sweetest dreams, some scheduling conflicts kiboshed that particular set, but the mighty Crucials saved the day by hosting a house party in Crucial manor, nestled the cozy hills of somewhat-nearby Milledgeville, GA.  As the homeowner in question cashes checks by day as a college professor, as does at least one other of his bandmates, we expected a pleasant, somewhat sedate affair, ideal warm-up action for Sunday.  As may be inferred by my tone, that expectation was, um, unfounded.  Not two bars into our first number, the house did a timely impersonation of the S.S. Poseidon, lamps, clocks, books, and board games tossed gleefully into the ceiling fans and at the band, Dennie dodging lightbulbs and venetian blinds launched drumward, Artie doused with several brands of beer while dodging mic-stand javelins, teeth-endangering guest vocal turns, and a whole lotta unholy shakesmanship from one and all.  Would-be roadie Charles Monarchy literally fled the scene in terror, timidly returning some two hours later once the bloodshed had mellowed.  Best gig ever!  The spirit of the event was best captured by Matt Crucial (who, I discovered, actually purchased a hygeine manual from yers truly through the mail some fourteen years ago as a youth in Palo Alto!), who soberly (?) concluded, "This house will burn down tonight."  He clearly wasn't kidding.  Thee Crucials themselves followed with an equally unhinged set -- for about five songs, at least, before disintegrating magnificently before our eyes.  All in all, the stuff memories are made of.  Huge thanx to alla thee Crucials, especially host Shake Revard -- who, it must be mentioned, was not only the homeowner, but the instigator of most of the mayhem.  Amongst men, there walks a Man in Milledgeville...

 

Anyway, dig the photomographic evidence online, and if yer among the fortunate flipped in the Southeastern Hemisphere, by all means make the mean scene this weekend.  Collect 'em all!

 

Oh, and incidentally, if yer one of the mysterious few NOT to receive last week's mind-mauling announcement, catch up quick at http://www.themondellos.com/announcement/ (and once again, supah-huge gratitude for uber-portraitist Dave Mitchell!).  And for those already tainted but yet curious, the lovely Missus has since posted a more comprehensive (and sober) recounting at http://www.kaiaghok.com/wedding.htm , with lotsa more celebrity pix as well as the chilling evidence of "the barbecue incident".   Magic moments, all..

If for no other reason than to put my ineptitude on display, the Mondellos website now has a bonafide VIDEOS page.  Thanks to my finally blowing thirty bucks on the Quicktime Pro key, you now have a choice of two quality levels: small, blurry & jerky, or enormous, grainy & somewhat less jerky.  I probably should spend some time tonight actually learning how to use the program, but see, I'm in the middle of this Gidget DVD set, and it's really hard to pull myself away from...

A less happy tale accompanies the LINKS page. In a fit of laziness, I figgered I'd get a jump-start by just mildly re-dressing the old Delusionaires links page. Brilliant! All but about three of those links were dead, and of the remaining three, two of 'em haven't been touched by human hands in about three years! F*ckit, I'll just leave it to MySpace ...

Ah, the Mondellos have an eyewitness account to boast of on the web, direct from this site's overview of the aforementioned Boss Martians/Unrequited Loves assault on Orlando:

"THE MONDELLOS were the best band of the evening, mainly because their guitar wasn't as loud as the 12 string from the unrequited loves....but their singer was drinking "heaven hill" from a flask and munching on chocolate when he shoulda been tweaking his tone/tuning/singing/chording etc.... that's why they were the best!"

Damning odds and our health alike, the Mondellos have indeed managed to survive their semi-coast-to-coast tour with the Boss Martians (ok, so we played just two shows with 'em...). Almost no sleep over the weekend, a fortune in gas & sundry other expenses, but a swingin' time on all fronts. Can't afford too many more adventures like this any time soon... Like they say, another such success and we are surely lost...

Some sweaty pix from the weekend comin' up, though with this week's rather full dance card at HQ, I dunno when we'll get the time to post 'em. In the meantime, though, I did see fit to slap up a coupla lil' video fragments from my gal testing out her camera -- dig the bottom of the SOUNDS page for some very trivial clips of the Mondellos bein', well, Mondellos...

After years of creative slaughtering of the Delusionaires' name (I think "Illuminaires" was probably the most poetically bizarre), I have now seen the official first mis-print of the Mondellos' moniker: The Mandellos! Freudian slip, I'd say. Remember what they say, kids: "Where Walks a Mondello... There Walks a Man... "

UPDATE:

Whoops, looks like they corrected it. Ah, well, it was sweet while it lasted....

Finally, some good nooz for a change -- Tampa's phenomenal UNREQUITED LOVES have been added to the March 23rd Will's South show w/the Boss Martians. We love these guys, and you do, too. Band Family Tree Trivia: Artie was the bass player for the Unloves for exactly three songs at the Emerald Bar (where he & Lil' Jimmy Ivy bluffed their way in the door by carrying a guitar case!), and Unlove Ed was kind of an Emergency Mondello by pinch-hitting on the skins while Dennie was stranded on I-4. Even more amazing is the fact that the Mondellos weren't even on the bill!

Headline on CNN/Money today: CIGARETTE SALES HIT 55-YEAR LOW. The article blames marketing restrictions on the drop, but I'm more inclined to attribute it to the Delusionaires quitting smoking en masse last November. At least beer sales haven't suffered any...

03/07/2006:
UP AND RUNNING?

Ugh, so sickly I can barely sit upright long enuff to peck out this scrawl. Keepin' it short then: I think there may officially be enough rudimentary material to declare the Mondellos site up & runnin'. Some major gaps here & there (such as the unpleasant matter of the bio), but there's at least five minutes' worth of edification & amusement (more if ya trudge through all twenty chapters of "Haitian Hell", but Christ, I haven't even read past the second chapter myself...), but it's a start...

Dennie & Artie managed to slip in a practice last weekend (the third one since the band's formation, I think), shanghaing their respective gals into snappin' some glamour shots in the process. The results'll make their way online in due time, if this flu doesn't kill me first...

I'd say it's bedtime...